


wayfaring stranger

by starkhowlett



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Post-Game(s), some details will probably change with the new game but this wont exactly follow it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2020-12-17 07:57:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21050963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starkhowlett/pseuds/starkhowlett
Summary: sorry for the wait!! currently about to enter finals season and i got a bit of free time to write this out. also, i promise the story will get more exciting soon, it'll pick up! thanks for reading, kudos and comments are always appreciated <3





	1. one.

“What was that all about?” You inquired curiously as your watch partner walked towards you, returning to her designated spot.

“Hell if I know.”

You snorted, adjusting your grip on the rifle in your hands. It was not the kind of rifle you were used to handling, and it was a bit heavier. You didn’t usually take guard shifts at the dam either, but here you were. Sasha had begged you to cover someone else’s shift that day, because at least she’d have someone to talk to.

“Some stragglers showed up at the front gate. I think Tommy knew them, ‘cause he let them in.”

“Fireflies?” You wondered out loud, not without a bit of disdain in your voice.

Sasha smirked a little at that. “I don’t think so. The guy had a kid with him.”

“Huh.”

Sasha made a little noise of agreement, before the both of you fell into silence, turning your attention to the outside. It was quiet, peaceful – too peaceful for your liking. You scanned the forest tree line for anything out of the ordinary, letting out a sigh. You didn’t think anything else of what Sasha had just told you – Tommy had a soft spot for kids, he’d probably let the stragglers in because he felt bad. 

The light poles flickered, before turning on. In the distance, you could hear the familiar hum of the hydroelectric machinery once again.

“They fixed it.” Sasha commented with a smile. “Hot showers today.”

“Yeah.”

Silence again. 

A few minutes later, you sighed again. “This is boring.”

“I know.” Sasha said with a hint of amusement.

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.” 

“C’mon, weren’t you just saying we needed to hang out more?” 

“_Outside _ of work, dumbass. Like, watching a movie or something. Not _ guard duty _.”

“Whatever. If I have to suffer, then you’re suffering with me.” 

You barked out a laugh. “What kinda friend are you?” 

Sasha laughed, until something out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. You saw it, too, and the both of you turned towards the forest, rifles aimed towards the tree line. 

“Did you see that?” She breathed.

“Yup.”

“I’m not going crazy?” 

“Nope.”

Leaves rustling. Branches snapping. 

“Who’s there?” One of the other guards further down the platform shouted. You two hadn’t been the only ones to notice _ something _was in those trees. 

The sound of a gunshot followed, a bullet whizzing between the two of you. Sasha shoved you down, dropping next to you behind the cover of a wooden panel nailed to the rail. 

“Shit!” You breathed out, as more gunshots cracked across the compound. Peeking out, you could see figures in the distance, closer to the engine room of the dam.

“Bandits!” Someone yelled from across the platform.

“I should’ve known! They’ve got _ terrible _ fucking aim!” Sasha piped out, and you didn’t know _ how _she could be witty at a time like this.

You crouched along the platform with her right behind you, before popping up to shoot at one of the bandits trying to break into one of the buildings. You hit him in the chest, a lucky shot that had you surprised, and you immediately dove behind cover again. You loaded another round into your rifle. 

“You bitch!” Another bandit yelled, after witnessing his comrade being shot down.

Sasha took care of him, taking a graze to the shoulder in the process. With a hiss, she fell next to you, behind another wooden panel.

“Shit. You okay?” You asked, hands hovering over her wound.

“I’m fine, ‘s just a scratch.” She waved you off, then pointed towards the other end of the platform. “We’ve gotta try and get over there, and we’ll corner those assholes.”

“Okay.” 

You carefully made your way to the other side of the platform, finding a couple of the other guards already pinning down some of the bandits. You glanced down, towards the lower level – it seemed clear, and it wouldn’t hurt to double check. It also wouldn’t hurt to shoot down any bandit trying to escape through the stairs. 

You descended to the lower level, and started to walk along the rail, rifle raised and ready to fire.

You heard footsteps behind you, and it was too late to turn around. A pair of arms grabbed you from behind, making the rifle clatter to the ground. You panicked, struggling in the bandit’s grasp, as the motherfucker only chuckled, his grasp becoming stronger, making your vision clouded.

Reaching for the gun strapped to your thigh was futile, because when you made an attempt to grab it, the bandit tore it away from you, pointing it at your temple.

“Any last words?” He said, with a smarmy smile.

“Fuck you.” You choked out, lifting your foot and bringing it down on his with all your strength. The soles of your boot crushed his toes. The bandit faltered, groaning in pain, allowing you to turn around and knee him in the groin, hard. He cursed at you, and while he was distracted you disarmed him, taking your gun back from him. The bandit grabbed your wrist and wrenched your arm away just as you pulled the trigger, making the bullet fly off towards the sky. He then head butted you, making you fall to the floor in a heap. 

“You fucking bitch.” The bandit took out his own gun and aimed it towards you.

Before you could react, a gunshot rang out, and you watched as blood spurted out of the bandit and he fell into a heap right in front of you.

“Motherfucker…” You swore, eyes wide, hand on your nose as you tried to stop the bleeding. You glanced in the direction of the gunshot, only to see a tall, gruff looking man dressed in a red flannel, holding a smoking shotgun. For a moment, you thought he was a bandit, and that made you stand on edge, if it wasn’t for the fact that he’d just made one explode with a buckshot right in front of your eyes. 

The man lowered his shotgun, staring at you. For a moment, you felt flustered as you collected yourself and your guns of the floor. _ The one time I get caught off guard… _

Who the hell was he?

You glanced at him again, and he had moved towards the stairs, but he was still giving you that hard stare. 

“Thanks.” You said, tentatively. 

“You’re welcome.” His voice was just as gruff as he looked, and then he was gone, climbing up the stairs two at a time. 

You stared after him, even after he was long gone, wondering. _ Who the hell was that guy? _He’d saved you. You’d been stupid and reckless, and you’d been about to pay for that – but he’d saved you. And you didn’t even know who he was. You’d never seen him around town. 

With a sigh, you emerged from the lower platform, gun raised and rifle slung around your back. Clearly, you were no good with it.

The bandits were pretty much gone, aside from a few stragglers that you and your fellow guards quickly took care of. There were two live ones – and you helped tie back one’s hands behind his back so he could be taken to the town’s prison for interrogation. Prison was a fancy word for it, considering it was only a room retrofitted with bars – but it served its purpose. 

You knew Maria would get information out of those two sooner rather than later, she was good at that. Maybe they’d give up the location of their camp – that’d be nice. The whole town was tired of dealing with the bandits’ bullshit attacks. Tired of losing good people because another group of people wanted to rip the town and dam away from you all and keep it to themselves.

The town was quiet when you arrived on horseback with a few other guards. News of the attack had already reached it, and it was always a somber occasion. Lives had been lost, and you weren’t planning on sticking around to hear the guard leader announce who had been killed to their families. 

You made your way to the stables, hopping off your mount. This was where you spent most of your days, aside from the occasional patrol, supply run or wall duty shift. You cooed at your mare, Posey, patting her big neck as you began to unsaddle her. She merely huffed, pawing the floor as you removed her bridle. You led her into her stall, brushing her down as she took big gulps of water from her bucket. You proceeded to do the same with the other horses that had just come from the dam, unsaddling them, brushing them down and storing said saddles – wiping them down and double checking that the saddle bags were empty. 

Danny, another guy who worked at the stables with you showed up, and began to help you lift the heavy saddles onto the perches. Sasha usually helped around the stables, too, but she had been taken to the clinic along with the other injured from the attack. You weren’t worried, though – it was just a gunshot graze, and she’d be out soon enough. Others weren’t so fortunate. 

Danny was unusually quiet, and you knew better than to ask. So after closing yet another stall, you made your way to the far end of the barn, deciding to check on the rambunctious tenant residing in the last stall.

It was a chestnut colt, and he chuffed, pawing at the floor. His ears were pinned back as he whinnied, clearly not happy.

“Calm down, dude. I’m just checking up on you.” You glanced to see if he had enough water and hay for the night.

He didn’t even have a name yet (besides curse words) even at almost two years old. No one had been able to even get close to him once he’d been weaned from his mom, no one had even been able to put a halter on him or pet him for extended periods of time without almost losing a finger. 

“He’s always so angry.” Danny commented, walking up to stand beside you. The colt simply turned away from the two of you to eat some hay, tail swishing.

“Yeah.” You sighed. You’d asked Maria what to do with the colt one day, and she’d just told you that he would come around, that maybe one day the right person could get through to him.

“My neighbor died at the dam.” Danny said softly, after a few moments of silence with only the sounds of the horses filling it. 

“I’m sorry.” Your reply was automatic, but no less sympathetic. You put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing softly. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” He breathed out. “He was kind of an ass. But he was a good guy. We hung out all the time. He’d bring me moonshine every once in a while.” Danny huffed out a laugh. “I’ll miss him.” 

You gave him a sympathetic smile, and he returned it. Without another word, the two of you returned to work, hoping to finish before sundown. 

You made your way to the small house you shared with Sasha after finishing, bidding goodbye to Danny and wishing him a good night. You didn’t feel like stopping by the mess hall, opting instead to skip dinner in favor of a hot shower and just going to bed. 

Maria intercepted you on the way home, with a hand on your shoulder. “Everything okay?” 

“Yeah.” 

She squinted at you. God, sometimes you wished she didn’t know you as well as she did. “Really?” 

“Really. Just tired.” 

She knew what the tone in your voice implied. _ Drop it, let’s talk about this later. _ “Okay.” Maria smiled. “Have a good night.” Her smile said _ you’re not getting out of this conversation _and you suddenly had the urge to stick your tongue out at her, as childish as it sounded. 

Maybe it was a selfish thought, because you hadn’t really lost anyone close to you in any of the attacks (yet), but you really didn’t want to be caught up in the mourning and negative energy that was sure to be present in the mess hall.

Sasha was already home, passed out on the couch with the TV flickering, an old movie playing on the VCR. She had a bandage on her shoulder and a bandaid on her eyebrow. With a fond smile, you turned off the TV and covered her with the throw blanket on the back of the couch.

After your shower you lay in your room in the dark, unable to sleep. You tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable, but the events of the day kept playing in your mind. For some reason, the man who had saved you wouldn’t leave your mind, either. The entire scene kept replaying in your head, making you huff.

You put your pillow over your head. It didn’t matter anymore. You’d never see that man again, anyway.


	2. two.

Winter had come and gone, and spring had begun. It was a warm day, without enough breeze to make it bearable. You emerged from the barn, exhausted after re-organizing the tack room. Sasha threw you a canteen full of water as you approached her, and you gave her a quiet thanks before taking a few sips. She was leaning on one of the pasture fences, watching the horses graze on the freshly grown grass. Danny was finishing up one of the fences, having given up on Sasha after a good thirty minutes of bickering and trying to get her to help.

“Do we have anything else to do today?” She asked, glancing at you.

“Nah. I think we’re all done for the day.” 

Sasha smiled. “You wanna watch a movie later?” 

“What? So you can fall asleep ten minutes in? I don’t think so.” 

“C’mon, I won’t fall asleep!” 

“I wanna watch a movie too.” Danny piped in with a grin. 

“No way, I’m not getting in between you two and another one of your fights.” 

“We don’t fight!” Sasha protested.

“Yeah, we don’t fight, we just disagree a lot.” Danny added.

“Well, we wouldn’t disagree if you weren’t such a stubborn dumbass.” She bit out.

“Hey, what the fuck?” Danny turned towards her.

You slowly walked away from the bickering pair, and as usual, neither of them noticed you were gone. 

You decided to grab a bite to eat at the mess hall before heading home, wanting to get all the rest you could before your upcoming graveyard guard shift at the wall. It was just before the lunch rush, so you didn’t expect a lot of people in there anyway. However, just before you could pull the door to the mess hall open, you heard someone calling your name.

You turned, only to see Tommy walking towards you, smile on his face. A man was right behind him, followed by a girl. You didn’t recognize either of them.

“What’s up?” You said casually.

He waved you over expectantly. “There’s someone I want you to meet.”

You stopped in your tracks as you realized who the man who was with him. It was the man who’d saved you at the dam a few months back. You suddenly felt a little self-conscious. He didn’t look as gruff as he did back then, as he gently ushered forward the girl that was with him. You wondered if she was his daughter. 

“This is my older brother Joel.” Tommy introduced. “Joel, this is (Name). She’s a good friend of mine and Maria’s.” 

Joel nodded at you, a shadow of an amused smile on his face. “We’ve kinda met before.” 

You fought the urge to bristle.  _ Of course he remembers. _

His accent was similar to Tommy’s, but his voice was deeper, smoother. He was also taller than Tommy, and a complete contrast to his brother’s blonde hair and blue eyes. His eyes and his hair were dark, even though he was already going a bit grey. You felt like a dumbass for not making the connection between the stranger who had saved you and the fact that both Maria and Tommy had mentioned that he had paid them a visit at the dam a few months later - the timing worked out. But you could really only see the resemblance between the brothers when they were standing next to each other. How the hell were you supposed to know?

“Really? You two know each other?” Tommy sounded surprised.

“Yeah. He saved my ass in the bandit attack a couple months back.” You replied, not taking your eyes off Joel.

Tommy barked out a laugh. “Well, I’ll be damned.” 

“Hello?” The girl next to Joel piped up. “Weren’t we going to get something to eat? I’m fucking  _ starving _ .” 

“Ellie.” Joel scolded.

“What? It’s true!”

You chuckled.

“That’s Ellie.” Tommy introduced with an amused smile.

“Nice to meet you, can we go eat now?” The girl said impatiently.

“Sure.” Tommy said good-naturedly. “The mess hall is right in there.”

Ellie grabbed Joel’s wrist, pulling him towards the mess hall. Joel chuckled, letting her. Before going inside, he threw you a glance. It didn’t make you uncomfortable at all, on the contrary - it made you feel  _ something. _ You didn’t know what, but it was different. And nice.

You glanced towards Tommy, and his knowing gaze was locked on you. “What?” 

“Nothin’. Just thinking about what job would be a good fit for him.”

He was changing the subject. “Patrols, maybe.”  _ Anything but guard duty. _

“Maybe. But I reckon it’d be better if we give them some time to settle in before sending him outside again.” 

_ Literally anything but guard duty _ .

A few days later, you went to the armory to check out a rifle for your guard shift, and took a look at the schedule for next week. Wherever your name was, Joel’s was written next to it. In Tommy’s handwriting.  _ Asshole _ .

“Do you mind if Ellie drops by the stables this afternoon?” Maria asked over lunch the next day.

“No.” You answered. “She seems like a good kid.” You said with a smile. You liked Ellie. You hadn’t seen much of her dad -  _ Joel, _ you hadn’t seen much of Joel in the past few days. The few times you’d seen him around town, it almost seemed like he was on edge. 

“She is. She really likes horses, so I thought maybe she could help out every once in a while after school. You sure Sasha and Danny won’t mind?”

“Nah, if anything they’ll appreciate the extra help.”

“Great! I’ll tell her to drop by later.” Maria said with a smile.

“Hello?” Ellie walked into the barn, hands in her pockets. A few horses poked their heads of their stalls curiously, nickering softly, and she instantly felt more at ease. These past few days had been nerve-wracking for her, to say the least. School was fine, nothing she hadn’t done before, but it was the stares that got to her. A few of the other kids actually made efforts to talk to her - one of them was a girl named Dina, with whom she got along pretty well, but the others just whispered about  _ the new girl  _ behind her back. What was so special about her, anyway? Why did they have to act like she was some big deal? 

Ellie scoffed at her own thoughts, moving towards a pretty bay horse who seemed friendly enough. “Hey, you.” She stroked the horse’s long nose, and the horse leaned into the touch. The horse reminded her of Callus, and she smiled wistfully. She then turned towards the rest of the barn. Where  _ was  _ everybody?

“Hey! Sorry.” A voice rang out from the small side room, and a woman with a kind smile emerged from the little side room. Ellie recognized her as Tommy and Maria’s friend. “I was just sorting out the tack room, the guys always make a mess when they come back from patrols.” 

“It’s okay.” Ellie reassured, turning back to the horse. “(Name), right?” 

She nodded.

“What’s its name?” Ellie nodded towards the horse.

“Oh, that’s Mickey. He’s a sweetheart, isn’t he?” She said with a smile, coming up to pat him in the neck. Mickey huffed in appreciation

“Yeah.” Ellie said. “He reminds me of the horse Tommy gave us the first time we were here.” With a look of realization, she turned towards (Name), who had a strange look on her face. “I’m sorry, he didn’t make it.” 

“That’s okay.” (Name) reassured her. “I kinda figured when he never came back from the dam.”

“I named him Callus. Did he have another name?” 

“Yeah, it was… wait, Callus? What kind of name is Callus?”

Ellie laughed loudly. “Joel said the same thing!”

“Joel. You mean your dad?” She asked.

Ellie shook her head with a small chuckle. “Oh no, he’s not my  _ dad _ . I mean, kinda… he just looks after me.”

“Oh, that makes sense.” She sighed, then handed Ellie the brush in her hand. “Anyway, wanna help me out around here, or are you just gonna pet Mickey all day?”

Ellie smiles good naturedly. “Just tell me what to do.” 

You were just finishing up with the stalls as Ellie was brushing the last horse (after the two of you had attempted to brush the chestnut colt with no luck), when someone ran into the barn.

“Ellie!” 

You walked out of a stall to see one of the kids standing right near the entrance. You were pretty sure her name was Dina.

“Hey. Dina, right? Everything alright?” You questioned, leaning the rake in your hand against the wall.

“Yeah, I’m just looking for Ellie! Maria told me she was here.” Her hands were behind her back as she rocked on her heels.

Ellie meekly came out of the tack room where she’d been putting away the brushes. “Hi Dina.” She almost looked… shy? Flustered?

“Ellie! Me and my friends are gonna have an old movie marathon at my house. Wanna come?” Dina said with a smile.

Ellie turned towards you, as if asking for permission almost. You gave her a gentle, encouraging smile. “Go ahead, we’re done here anyway.”

The girl lit up, and her and Dina ran out of the barn gleefully, talking excitedly the entire time.

You shook your head in amusement, making your way to the shelf next to the tack room to get your bag. You rifled through it, making sure you hadn’t left anything behind or laying around the barn.

“Ellie?”

_ How many more people are gonna come looking for Ellie today? _ You thought with a smile, grabbing your bag and slinging it over your shoulders. When you turned the corner, you almost ran into Joel - he was right in front of one of the stalls, clicking his tongue softly at the horse inside. 

Surprised, you realized the horse Joel was petting was the chestnut colt - and you didn’t hear any pawing or angry chuffing. 

“I wouldn’t do that for too long if I were you. He’s a little asshole.” You said

Joel glanced towards you, still stroking the colt’s sleek nose. “That so? He seems pretty friendly to me.” 

You risked a glance at the horse. For once, he seemed to actually enjoy being pet - he was even leaning into Joel’s touch. 

_ Huh. _

“He really likes you.” You blurted out, still in awe.

“I guess he does.” He turned away from the colt and towards you, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I thought Ellie was helpin’ out around here.”

“She was. She just left with a friend. Dina.”

“Ah.” 

You stared amazed as the colt reached out to affectionately nibble his shoulder, almost as if begging for his attention. Joel indulged him, scratching him behind the ears with a soft  _ hey buddy _ .

“He have a name?” Joel asked.

“No. Do Asshole and Fucker count?” 

He huffed out something that could count as a laugh. “I ‘spose they don’t.” Joel suddenly cleared his throat, stepping away from the stall. He scratched the back of his head, a nervous and shy gesture that caught you off-guard. “How did Ellie do?” 

“She was great with the horses. They liked her. She was really helpful.” You offered with a smile. “She could keep working here if she wants.”

“That’s good. I’ll uh, talk to her.” Then he fell silent again, looking down at his boots.

You had a feeling he wasn’t much of a talker. 

“I was just about to leave for the day, maybe go get something to eat.” It was a silent invitation, and you extended it to him. Not that you were expecting him to actually accept.

“Don’t let me keep you.” Was all he said, before giving the colt one last pat in the neck and turning towards the barn’s door. The colt whinnied as he left, as if he were protesting. 

Again, you weren’t expecting him to accept, but you figured maybe he’d want some company. He was always by himself, if he wasn’t with Ellie. At least you tried.

You closed the barn door behind you, and he was still there, hands in his pockets. You looked at him expectantly, and he broke his gaze away from you, clearing his throat.

“Guess I’ll see you around.” Joel said, awkwardly, before walking away.

You stared after him, your emotions a confusing mess. You didn’t know what to think of him. He was an enigma - cold and calculated one moment, shy and awkward the next moment. He’d been gentle enough to gain the colt’s trust and affection after only a few minutes of interaction, something you were still in shock at. 

Maybe during one of your guard shifts, you could ask him to help out. After all, it was your job to make sure all the horses were healthy, happy and most importantly, trained.

Yeah, that was the only reason. 


	3. three.

It was already dark when you made your way to the armory. 

You checked out your rifle for your guard shift, the first of many graveyard shifts at the wall watchtower with Joel by your side. 

Clark, who was well known around town for his ridiculously strong home brew, was manning the armory that night, and he slipped you a flask with a wink when gave you your rifle. You were pretty sure he was being more than friendly, but you could honestly care less. At least you had something to keep you awake during your shift. 

You clanged on the metallic stairs of the little watchtower to relieve the people from the previous shift, and as they made their way down, you couldn’t help but shyly look around for Joel. He’d show up soon enough, right? 

You had already made yourself as comfortable as possible on one of the hard chairs in the watchtower when he came up, rifle slung over his shoulder, wearing one of his usual flannels but not rolled up to his elbows. It was a breezy night.

Joel grumbled something that sounded like a  _ sorry ‘m late  _ but you couldn’t really tell. He sat down and leaned his rifle against the wall in complete silence, and stared out into the darkness.

Awkwardly, you did the same, but you really couldn’t see shit, aside from the few yards that were lit by the wall’s spotlights. For a while, neither of you talked, and the silence shifted into something comfortable. You got the gist - he really didn’t wanna talk right now, and that was okay with you. 

Sighing, you decided to take a sip out of the flask Clark gave you - it’s not like you had anything better to do. You could feel Joel watching you out of the corner of his eyes curiously as you took a drink, coughing at the sheer amount of alcohol in it.  _ Bad idea.  _

“What’s that you got in there?”

_ Wow, he talks. _

“What do you think?” 

He huffed something that almost sounded like a laugh. 

After a few more seconds of silence, you offered him the flask. “Want a sip? It’s nice and warm.”

Joel looked at the flask warily, and then met your eyes. He slowly took it from your hand, then took a sip, not breaking eye contact. He cleared his throat loudly after swallowing, grimacing. “Jesus.” Joel smacked his tongue a few times, handing the flask back. “What  _ is  _ in there?” 

You laughed. “I have  _ no  _ idea. Good, right?” 

“Sure. Good for passin’ out a few sips in.” 

You shook your head with a smile.

“Don’t think Tommy’ll be too happy to learn you’re drinking on the job.” He said 

“He won’t know if you don’t tell him.” You turned your gaze away from him, towards the darkness. “You a snitch, Joel?” 

“No ma’am.” He replied, without missing a beat, and you could hear a slight smile in his voice. When you turned to look at him, he was as stoic as ever, but even in the small amount of light the lantern between the two of you provided, you could see the amusement dancing around in his eyes. 

“Can I ask you something?” You said, suddenly.

Joel gazed at you curiously. “Sure.”

“I was just wondering if… if you’d like to help me out with something.” 

He looked at you expectantly, waiting for you to elaborate, but stayed silent.

You wrung your hands together, suddenly nervous as you looked down. “The chestnut colt. No one has ever been able to get that close to him and well… I was wondering if you’d help me out with him. You know, handle him and groom him and stuff. He really seemed to like you.”

Joel seemed to consider it. “When?” 

“Whichever afternoons you’re free. It doesn’t have to be everyday.”

“I’ll do it.” He nodded, giving you a small, reassuring smile. 

It was the first time you’d seen him smile, and you decided that you liked it.

“C’mon boy.” Joel urged the young horse forward, lightly pulling on the lead rope. The colt’s ears were pinned back as he stayed put, as if his feet were nailed to the ground. “C’mon.” 

“Don’t pull on him!” Ellie yelled out from where she was sitting on the fence next to Dina.

“And how else am I gonna get him to move?” Joel shot back. He turned back towards the disinterested, indignant colt, clicking his tongue. “C’mon. C’mere boy.” 

You walked into the paddock, closing the fence behind you. “At least you got the halter on him.”

Joel huffed. “Yeah, well. It’s not much use if he won’t move.”

“Told you he was an asshole.”

The colt pawed the ground, snorting almost in agreement.

“I brought some carrots, maybe they’ll help?” 

“No harm in tryin’.” Joel took a carrot from your hand and offered it to the young horse. The colt’s ears perked up, suddenly interested, and took a step forward. “That’s it boy.”

Soon, Joel was walking alongside the fence of the paddock, holding out the carrot, and the colt was happily trotting behind him, following the treat. After a few minutes, he stopped, and gave the carrot to the colt with a murmured  _ good boy _ . 

You couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear— that was the most progress anyone had ever made with that damn horse. Ellie and Dina were cheering, and when Joel looked up, he was smiling. He caught your eye, and walked over to you, the colt right behind him, following him without any problems. He was probably just expecting more carrots, and you gave one to him.

“Been a while since I handled a horse.” Joel confessed, patting the colt’s neck.

“Well, I’d say you did pretty good.” You said with a smile, petting the colt’s nose, outstanded at the fact that he didn’t try to bite you. “He really likes you. He trusts you.”

“Yeah.” Joel agreed. “What happened to this guy, anyway? 

“What? You mean, why is he the way he is?”

He nodded. “All the other horses seem to be fine.”

You gave a little sigh and met his gaze. “Let’s just say that the stable manager at the time wasn’t… very nice to the horses. His training methods weren’t the best, and this poor guy just happened to be born when that asshole was still here.” 

Joel hummed, deep in thought. “That asshole still around town?”

“Nope.”

“Good.”

Ellie jumped down from the fence, Dina right behind her. “Hey Joel?” 

“Yeah?” He turned towards her.

Ellie hesitated, hands wringing together, before Dina nudged her gently. “I- uh, I was wonderin’ if… if I could stay over at Dina’s tonight.”

“It’s a school night.”

“I know! We’re gonna do our homework together and we’ll walk to school bright and early. Please, Joel?”

Joel sighed. “I don’t know…”

“Please, Mr. Miller?” Dina pleaded. “My mom said it was okay.” 

Joel couldn’t stand the puppy dog face both girls were giving him. “Alright, alright.”

Ellie grinned, and suddenly hugged him tight, saying  _ thank you thank you thank you,  _ her words muffled by his shirt. 

He chuckled, ruffling her hair. “You’re welcome, baby girl. Now go on, get.” 

Ellie, still grinning at him, nodded, and ran off with Dina on tow.

You watched everything play out with a soft smile. “I had a feelin’ you were a softie under that tough exterior.”

Joel scoffed, but he was smiling. He gave the colt another pat on the neck before leading him away towards the stalls without a problem.

You huffed out a small laugh, following them.

“You remember that one guy we captured in the last bandit raid?” Tommy asked you one day. The two of you were at one of the warehouses, taking note of all the new supplies a group had brought after a run.

“The fucker that had us going in circles because he wouldn’t tell us where his damn camp was? Yeah, I remember him. You let him go. Which I still think was a stupid thing to do, by the way.” You counted three cans of peaches, and threw them in a box. 

He snorted. “Yeah, well, one of the guys that came back from that run today found him. Dead.”

“Oh.”

“Might’ve been ‘cause of the horde of infected that’s lingering in that side of the forest. They had to haul ass outta there.”

“Shit. How many?”

“A lot. That’s actually why I called for that patrol meeting tonight. Gonna form a little team, try and clean out the horde. See who’s up for it.” He looked up from the box he was going through. “Thought I’d offer you the first spot.”

You made a face. “I don’t know, Tommy…” 

“They’re too close to town for me and Maria’s liking, and you’re one of our best shots.” 

“Pff. As if.” 

“Don’t get humble on me now.”

“I’ll think about it, okay?”

“Okay.”

At the meeting that night, you’d been the first to raise your hand when Tommy, after explaining the situation, had asked for volunteers amongst the patrollers. You’d been giving it some thought, and decided that even though you were absolutely terrified of infected (no matter how many encounters you’d had with them in the past) you would do anything in your power to help keep Jackson safe. You were surprised to see Joel there, and you were even more surprised when he raised his hand right after you did. A few more people raised their hands, including Sasha, and soon Tommy had enough people to go on a patrol at first light the next day and take care of those infected. 

You just hoped it’d go okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait!! currently about to enter finals season and i got a bit of free time to write this out. also, i promise the story will get more exciting soon, it'll pick up! thanks for reading, kudos and comments are always appreciated <3


	4. four.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize in advance for the wait and the short n shitty chapter! i know i have no excuse, u know, with the quarantine and all, but online school has been kicking my ass and killing my inspiration to do anything other than be lazy all day. i promise i will try to update more frequently tho, especially now that we have a new release date!

Getting up at the crack of dawn wasn’t exactly your idea of fun. And doing it to go and try to shoot down infected before they got too close to your home was  _ definitely  _ not your idea of fun. It was a necessary evil, you reasoned. 

You made your way to the armory and managed to stay awake during Tommy’s briefing. The man could make anything sound boring, and at one point you were nodding off and Sasha had to pinch your arm. When he was finally done, all of you filed out of the armory, looking like a little militia. You’d been given your rifle and a small handgun.

The horses had already been saddled up and were waiting at the front gate, probably by Danny or someone else who had been suckered into helping at this early hour. You gave your mare a quick pat, looking at the rest of the group before catching Joel’s eye as he started to walk towards you. Your gaze dropped, foolishly feeling a bit flustered.

Joel looked like shit, that much was an understatement. Somehow you’d managed to miss him at the briefing, but seeing as you were struggling to stay awake, it wasn’t very surprising.

“Not a morning person, huh?” You asked him, looking up at him with a wry smile.

“You could say that.” He almost grumbled, shuffling in place. “One of the guys offered me some “coffee”, if you could even call it that. It tasted like crap.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t touch that shit again if I were you, not even with a ten foot pole. God knows what the guys put in there to keep them awake.” You pulled a thermos out of the side pocket of your backpack. “I do have some herbal tea, though. It does the job pretty well.”

Joel made a face. “Never been a tea person, either.” 

You tucked the little thermos into your saddlebag, laughing. “Suit yourself.” 

“Tommy tells me you’re a pretty good shot.” Joel said, clearing his throat, one hand stroking the back of his neck.

“I guess. He’s always saying that. I don’t think I’m that good, just decent.”

Joel gave you what you guessed was a semblance of a smile. “That so?” 

“Yeah.” Suddenly feeling flustered again, you changed the subject. “Well... I think they’re waiting for us. We better get going.” You smiled at him again, before hauling yourself up onto the saddle. You grabbed your reins and clicked your tongue, heading towards the rest of the group and the now slowly opening gate. 

Joel stood there for a few seconds, staring after you, before Tommy caught his attention.

“C’mon Joel, get a move on!” Tommy urged, with a slight smirk. “Unless you wanna stay here and stare all day.”

Joel grumbled, getting on the horse. “Shut the hell up.” He followed after Tommy, rubbing his eyes after a big yawn. “Fuck, I really miss coffee.”

  


It was pretty easy to find the horde. It was nearly impossible to miss the sounds and the  _ smell  _ of it. Leaving the horses behind was the smart thing to do, and you all continued on foot towards it. They had completely taken over a decent-sized camp. There were mostly runners, quite a few clickers, and…

“Shit.” Sasha said, handing Tommy her binoculars. “A bloater.”

Tommy sighed loudly, taking a closer look. “Well, that’s fucking great.” 

“How did a bloater even get here?” One of the other guys asked.

“The horde probably dragged it out of a building from that nearby town with all the damn noise it made. Probably just followed them here.” You reasoned.

“We’ve made supply runs to that town. We’ve never run into a bloater.” 

“Well maybe we missed it.”

“Okay.” Tommy interjected. “That doesn’t matter right now. We need a strategy. We can’t have this horde anywhere near town. There’s too damn many.”

“Don’t think even the electrified fences would hold up to these many.” Joel mumbled. “I say we fight fire with fire.”

“He’s right.” Sasha said with a smirk. “Best way to kill a bloater is to light it the fuck up. The other dumbasses will follow.”

  


It was chaos once the first nail bombs went off. The infected were screeching, running in different directions as bullets flew. The bloater had already gone down with two well-thrown molotov cocktails, but the flames were spreading. 

Joel coughed at the smoke, his eyes watering, missing the one runner barreling towards him and smacking him into the ground. He cursed, grappling for his gun, his knife,  _ anything,  _ until a gunshot right into the runner’s head. Joel glanced up, surprised, to find you with a rifle a good distance away.

He stood up and glanced around, looking for you and wanting to thank you, but you were already gone, and there was another runner headed his way.

  


After the smoke from the bombs had settled, and everything stood still, everyone carefully ventured out, spreading across the camp and putting out the flames with dirt, not wanting to completely destroy the camp and any evidence within it. The ground was littered with infected, but there were also human corpses lying around, something you hadn’t noticed when you first arrived.

“Bandits.” Tommy sneered, confirming everyone’s thoughts as he kicked a random corpse with his boot. “This camp looks recent. They must’ve attracted the horde with their bullshit.” 

Joel scoffed, kicking dirt over the small flames that were left over from the molotov cocktail. “Wouldn’t surprise me if it was intentional.”

“Maybe it wasn’t. They’re real dumbasses, those guys. They’ve made camps near town before, and they’re loud as shit.” Sasha piped up. “Serves ‘em right, anyway.”

Everyone scattered around the campsite to look for any surviving supplies, or any clues as to where the main bandit camp might be located. You turned your attention to one of the still standing tents.

Joel gently touched your elbow to get your attention. “Hey.” 

You turned, a little surprised. “Hey.”

“Thanks for having my back.” He shouldered his rifle, his hand in his pocket. 

You smiled softly. “You’re welcome. I saved your ass back there, huh?”

He let out a short laugh, shifting under the strap of the rifle. “Yeah, I guess you did.” 

“You guess? I totally did.” You grinned, leaning down to look through an abandoned bag.

“Thank you.” He said softly, and the sincere tone in his voice completely took you by surprise.

“It was no problem, Joel. Really.” You stood up with a box of rifle ammo you had found in the bag, giving it to him with a smile. “We’re even now. You saved me at the dam, and I saved you now. By the way, I think those work with your rifle.” You started to walk away, giving him another smile. You had to get away, before the butterflies in your stomach drove you insane. Whatever it was about him that made you feel that way, you hated it, yet liked it at the same time. It was weird.

Joel stared after you again, but with a smile this time around.


	5. five.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chapters :( ive got a bit of writer's block and i dont wanna abandoning this fic... so i find it easier to write little chapters for now

You managed to avoid Joel for the next couple of days. The way he made you feel was strange - you’d saved each other, you were even now. You’d thought that whatever was making you gravitate towards him in such a way was a feeling of gratitude for saving you that day back at the dam. But it had grown even stronger, now, with his soft smiles and nice conversations. It was stupid, and you realized it.

It was something that you hadn’t felt in a good while, not since your ex. And that was years ago, and something you didn’t like to remember either.

Seeing him on the ground, pinned down by infected awakened something in you. You felt fear crawling up your throat, and you didn’t even think twice about raising your rifle and firing off a round. You didn’t even consider the distance, or anything that might’ve been in the way - you just wanted to help him. You kept trying to rationalize that you would’ve done the same for anyone else from the group (that’s what you told Sasha, anyway, and she didn’t seem convinced. You’d deal with her suspicions later). It was ridiculous. You barely knew the man. He was older, de-attached. Your conversations had been nice, but nothing out of the ordinary. You’d spent tons of time with him, sure, up in that shitty watchtower sharing flask after flask of homebrew - but nothing you would consider substantial.  
Which was why you were avoiding him. It was all terribly confusing to you, and you couldn’t stand it. You surely could ignore the butterflies in your stomach whenever your eyes met.

Maria was apparently in a partying mood, because she roped you into a planning committee for the next big dance in the town hall. The people of Jackson loved their parties, where they could just forget about everything bad in the world and have one night to themselves. There was never any shortage of alcohol, good music, and good people to dance with.  
Maria wanted to make sure there were enough supplies for the next dance, and she had asked you to venture into the storage depot behind the mess hall. With a grimace, you said yes. You really had no choice (and everyone knew supply shifts were the worst, nothing but hours of walking around the basement, dodging spiders and counting cans), but you asked for at least someone else to help. She said she’d find someone.

You didn’t expect that someone to be Joel. You cursed Tommy, sure that it was his kind suggestion.

You pretended you didn’t care as he walked down the stairs, clad in his usual flannel and jeans. He’d definitely noticed you were avoiding him, with the awkward way he just stood there waiting for you to talk to him. So you did, telling him that you needed help with the boxes of homebrew before ducking back into the shelves as quick as you could.

The temperature in the basement seemed to rise with the two of you down there. You didn’t know if it was the actual weather causing it or the slight tension between you two. Next thing you knew, you were pretending to count cans of fruit for punch, while watching him move around boxes of homebrew. You miscounted a couple of times, trying to say something, anything, but you were too distracted. You almost dropped your clipboard when he peeled off his long sleeved flannel and was left in a sleeveless undershirt. He continued moving around the heavy boxes like they were nothing, until they were all piled up near the stairs so they could be taken to the town hall later. Maybe he thought that in the shitty fluorescent light in the basement, you wouldn’t be able to see the array of scars on his arms and shoulders. You could just barely see them.

Joel walked towards you, then, wiping his forehead and retrieving his flannel shirt. You quickly averted your gaze from him.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” He stated.

“No. Why would I do that?” You defended yourself, trying your best to not stare at him.  
“You tell me.”

“I’ve just been busy. Maria has me running all over town trying to plan this thing.” It wasn’t exactly a lie, and it was a good excuse.

“Did I… did I do somethin’?” His voice had turned a little gentler now. “‘Cause if I did, ‘m sorry. I didn’t… I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anythin’. I’m not the best at…” He vaguely gestured between the two of you. “This.”

You couldn’t help but smile. “I can tell.” You felt a little guilty, too, for avoiding him and being so short with him since that stint in the bandit camp. “You didn’t do anything, Joel. I’ve just… been feeling a little off since that last run.”

“Off how?”

“I can’t say. I don’t know how to explain it.” And truthfully, you didn’t. But you couldn’t exactly say it was because of him. You didn’t want him to guilt trip himself even more over something that wasn’t his fault. “But I’ll be fine.”

“Well.” He obviously felt relieved, and you could see it in his face. “That’s… a damn relief, that’s for sure.” He let out a little chuckle, rubbing the back of his head. “Thought for sure I’d said somethin’ stupid and, well…” Joel paused suddenly, clearing his throat. He seemed to remember he was only in his undershirt, and made quick work of slipping on his flannel and buttoning it up. 

You tried not to be disappointed at that, and tried not to notice how he always left the first few buttons open. “Well, you didn’t. At least not recently.” 

He gave you a look, and huffed out a chuckle. “Thanks.” 

“I think we’re done here for the day.” You looked around, scratching the back of your neck. “I really don’t wanna be down here long enough to find a spider.”

You were locking the door to the storage basement, with him standing behind you, doing that thing he always did, awkwardly shuffling in place before saying goodbye. You tried really hard not to smile at that. It was endearing.

“So,” You said, deciding to save him from the awkwardness. “Are you planning on going to the dance?”

Joel wrinkled his nose, fidgeting with the broken watch on his wrist. “Nah. I don’t think so. Never been much for parties.”

“C’mon. It won’t be that bad.” You smiled at him. “I’ll be there. We could just grab some drinks and I’ll join your sulking in a corner.” 

He laughed at that. “Well I… maybe I’ll let Ellie drag me there that night.”

“So I’ll see you there?” 

Joel suddenly looked nervous, but he nodded. “Okay. Yeah, sure.” 

The night of the dance approached way more quickly than you anticipated. Maybe it’s because you knew for sure Joel was going, and the thought of him being there and maybe, just maybe asking you to dance with him was nerve wracking. 

“You look fine, can we go?” Sasha was impatiently waiting by the door of the small house you two shared, as you fixed your hair one last time in front of the miraculously intact mirror in the living room. 

“In a minute.” You said, fixing your shirt. It was the nicest one you owned, and paired with your cleanest jeans, you didn’t look half bad. 

“Don’t tell me this is all because Joel is going.” 

“...Maybe.” You might as well confess to her. She had you pegged.

“Oh my god, are you serious?” She laughed. “I knew it! I knew you had a thing for him.”

“Just… shut up, you know-it-all. Just don’t embarrass me.” You said, flushed, as you shouldered past her on the way out. 

“Okaaaay, I wooooon’t.” Sasha said with a smile, closing the door behind her. “This is gonna be good.”

**Author's Note:**

> hi y’all! this is something i’ve been wanting to write for a long time and with all the tlou 2 news recently i’ve got some inspiration :) hope u all enjoy, comments are appreciated!


End file.
